Black Cowboy Hat

July 14, 2005

“A black cowboy hat has been left at security. Please return to the security screening area if you are missing a black cowboy hat”. The bad guy is on the plane. This is hard evidence. There is cause to be nervous. This, a most obvious plot to go incognito, has been brought into the light. Maybe the bad guy will be dumb enough to fall for their first attempt to identify him. He will stand up slowly from his vinyl sling of a seat in the waiting room, scrub his five o’clock shadow with a meaty, calloused hand and trudge dutifully, one eel skinned boot in front of the other, back to the luggage X-ray machine to ask for his hat back. If this doesn’t work we will see airport security talking into their sleeves and moving briskly to the gates, fanning out in a more frenzied approximation of the drill they practiced not two weeks ago. Quiet announcement s will be made about technical problems onboard each craft and those who have already taken their seats on the planes will grab their carry-ons from the overhead bins and head back up the jet way to mill bewildered in the fluorescent glow of the collecting areas. Somewhere near a potted plant, by a bank of payphones, arms around his knees and sitting with his back to the far wall is a tousled swarthy and mustachioed figure shifting his eyes from exit to exit. Security have their profiling locked on stun. He somehow made it through with the spurs, black leather riding gloves and neckerchief but this is as far as he will get. He will be found out. He will later be caught standing on a toilet lid in a stall in a washroom down the hall. There is no perfect plan and it’s easy to spot a bad guy. They wear the black hats.