Nigel the Cat bulletin

August 22, 2004

Dear Neighbours,

Just a note to let you know about our cat “Nigel”. He’s the happy, yet sometimes balding, matted and thin 15-year-old black and white cat (tuxedo markings) who lives at 555 Main Street.

Recently a well meaning and conscientious neighbour has twice picked him up near our house and taken him into the SPCA thinking he is being neglected, abused or abandoned. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. The SPCA doesn’t give out details on its good samaritans so we’re dropping this letter in all mailboxes.

With Nigel’s advanced age has come a condition that makes it tough for him to groom properly and regulate his weight. We take him for regular check-ups and he is on medication that helps him. He’s a noisy boy who moans and cries almost like a baby. This doesn’t help him appear any less pathetic. Truth be told we expect he has taken down the odd coyote in his day. Do not let his appearance fool you. He can still rule this roost. Some believe he was organizing the inmates for a jailbreak while in the clink.

We are trying to turn him into an indoor cat after a lifetime enjoying the great outdoors but he is not buying into our program at all. His willpower is massive. His stubbornness is immeasurable

It’s just a matter of time before he escapes. Please give us a call if you see him and are concerned but PLEASE don’t take him away again.

Yours truly

the Northeys
(604) 555-1212