Ask the Love Scientist

June 18, 2004

Ask the Love Scientist

Q: I have been in a long-term relationship for eleven years. I love my boyfriend very much but we break up every year or so for one reason or another. I’ve cheated on him once and he’s cheated on me about 8 times. He says I must have cheated on him more because, and I quote, “if you see one mouse there must be at least 100 more around”. He claims he has to cheat 92 more times before we are even. He also says, “its different for guys”. I guess I understand this because he cries a lot less than I do about our problems. He says he is internalizing his pain. I guess his sullen silence is better than when he swears at me and throws things. Lately he’s been forced to work late almost every night of the week and has even been putting in extra time on the weekends. I watch his car come down the road and it comes from the south. His work is to the north of us. He comes home tired and smelling of bean sprouts, wet dog and Listerine. The zoo is three blocks away and he says its El Nino blowing the pong in through our ventilation. I thought El Nino was something to do with temperature not wind. Could you please clear this all up for me? I think something is wrong with this picture.

Signed

Suspicious in Sunnybrook

A:

Dear Suspicious,

Your boyfriend is not quite as smart as he may seem. I think you have him here! You are correct in your assumption that El Nino is more about temperature than wind. Although temperature and wind are causally related I would bet on you if it were a battle of whose definition is more correct.
There has been a confusing range of uses for the terms El Niño, La Niña and ENSO by both the scientific community and the general public. Originally, the term El Niño (in reference to the Christ child) denoted a warm southward flowing ocean current that occurred every year around Christmas time off the west coast of Peru and Ecuador. The term was later restricted to unusually strong warmings that disrupted local fish and bird populations every few years. However, as a result of the frequent association of South American coastal temperature anomalies with interannual basin scale equatorial warm events, El Niño has also become synonymous with larger scale, climatically significant, warm events. There is not, however, unanimity in the use of the term El Niño. The tendency in the scientific community though is to refer interchangeably to El Niño, ENSO warm event, or the warm phase of ENSO as those times of warm eastern and central equatorial Pacific SST anomalies. Conversely, the terms La Niña, ENSO cold event, or cold phase of ENSO are used interchangeably to describe those times of cold eastern and central equatorial Pacific SST anomalies. El Niño (EN) is characterized by a large scale weakening of the trade winds and warming of the surface layers in the eastern and central equatorial Pacific Ocean. If you are near any trade winds in Sunny brook chances are good the smells from the zoo would have a harder time reaching your place but due to the warming effects of El Nino they may be stronger and more distinct.

Your boyfriend may have the idea of El Nino a little confused but it may be true that warming trends may have accentuated the scent of animal sex near your home. Though your hunches were right about El Nino’s definition it may, in fact, still play a role in bringing up those nasty smells. Try a bowl of vinegar in the open window or maybe light a match every half hour or so.

All the best

The Love Scientist