Alien Super Beings

June 11, 2004

I was barely concentrating as I drove home up the empty corridor of our local high street. Holding the needle at 60k so as to hit every green light, the road wet and shiny, I rolled down the window to keep myself awake for the last few blocks. Five conspiracy theorists were on the late night talk radio. All of a sudden I realized they were agreeing with each other over the point that the planes used in 911 where operated by remote control and the whole event was a necessary sacrifice perpetrated by a secret illuminati, that included George W. Bush -- “illuminati” is a stretch for such a rube. The catastrophe would leverage US public opinion by justifying an imperialist war to seize world oil supplies under the guise of anti-terrorist action. Some of this didn’t seem far from the truth. Its when the remote controlled planes and directives from alien super beings came into the picture that the whole thing started to veer onto the soft shoulder of logic. Years ago we had this discussion of conspiracy theories on the Zevon tour bus. One of us was spouting off Kennedy assassination theories when Warren said, “I understand that this is all fun and games but in these situations it is more likely that crazy people perpetrate straight up horrible and stupid crimes”. I paraphrase because this was 12 years ago. A couple of days later he gave me Joyce Carol Oates “The Rise of Life on Earth” and said he thought I’d like it. It was so good it made me late for the stage at one gig . . .which he later forgave after he found out it was because I was reading. When I was done with the book he said, “You see? Its those types of people who commit these unspeakable acts. Its that simple” (I recommend you read it because I’m not going to provide a plot summary and character profile).
I think he’s right. When a theory becomes overly complicated it probably isn’t the truth even if it does make a better movie than the real story. The truth can be strange but its never too complicated.