I didn't have the car

February 05, 2002

I didn't have the car today and I had errands to run. So I ran. As a few of you know I love to run. If one has errands to accomplish it all takes on an olympian vibe. Sprinting over hill and dale to get the important tactical message from HQ to the general in the field. "Sire! Sire! The Centurions doth approach from Troy via the Lonsdale off-ramp. They command a massive fleet of imported minivans!" OK...OK...so it was just the bank, some mail, and a prescription to pick up. Somehow the whole venture seems more worthy if you actually sweat. Nothing can stem the tide of minivans. We have lost that battle and resigned to our comfortable, sexless, pods. Tie your last shred of identity to the aerial to pick yours out from the others in the parking lot. I have chosen the Jolly Roger so no one dents my doors. I've told the family to pilliage whenever possible. Run down the road with the sliding side doors open with "Ride of the Valkyries" blasting from the stereo. "Kids! Jump out and grab that man's sandwich! It looks good and we have no food!".
Soon it will be illegal for the kids to go to school without a corporate logo on their clothes. No one will know which class to put them in if it cannot be determined if they are GAP kids, Nike kids or from the clan of Abercrombie & Fitch. When they graduate they can get a better sense of direction by enlisting in the Old Navy. I will surely be arrested for running around town on the sidewalks. Unless...unless..people assume that, with my unaturally dyed red hair, I must be late for my initiation into the clan McDonald and am meeting the other Ronalds under the arches of gold for the sacrifice.