Spent the whole day without
February 07, 2002
Spent the whole day without going outside. Maybe I am subconsciously preparing for being institutionalized. I see now how much I will enjoy "excercise period". Here it is a little better since I'm still allowed to open the knife drawer and the food is homemade. As you can see I'm typing a little earlier in the evening because if you stay inside all day it gets to feeling late at a faster rate. Through these posts I'm gradually approaching a state of enlightened gibberish. My friend Alistair has an English to Gaelic translator on his website. I would like an English to Gibberish translator. Alistair helps me with my website and I think he's smart enough to build a Gibberish to English translator. I dare you Mr.Smartypants! Ideally you could play old REM records and Esa Tikkanen postgame interviews into it and they would come out as lucid as a cold prairie morning. Wait...IKEA instructions. It could help me with IKEA instructions. Fuck IKEA instructions! They aren't straightforward at all. There are always two ways to build anything you buy. I screw it together the wrong way first, turn the air blue, undo it, and then do it the right way. First the automan is a pommel horse and then it is finally an automan. It is an automan I therefore resent for the first three months of its assembled existence. It has a name like SKVAR or KOLIK. Ski instructors who get chicks and have perfect blonde hair and real pectoral muscles. Why shouldn't I resent an automan with that profile? I have to get out of the house before I say something I don't mean to Skvar & Kolik. They can't help who they are. They can't help that they didn't come assembled. Perhaps today my thoughts should come with the proviso, "some assembly required". I'll have that English/Gibberish: Gibberish/English thing up and running soon.
*footnote: Esa Tikkanen: Left Wing, shoots left. 6'1", 190 lbs born, Helsinki Finland Jan 25/65, NHL teams: Edmonton, NY Rangers, St.Louis, New Jersey, Vancouver, Rangers again, Florida, Washington, Rangers again.
Now works in IKEA technical specs and instruction manual department.