The Olympic opening ceremonies. What

February 08, 2002

The Olympic opening ceremonies. What a weird, conflicted experience. I cried at one point (the flag) and I was grossed out by the cheesiness at several other points. Why did it have to end on that Celine Dion kind of note? I know it wasn't Celine but you know what I mean. Anytime there is a song with all those modulations backed by a gigantic choir and a symphony you know what kind of words are going to come out. The gross kind. At least Ms.Rhimes (sp?) doesn't whack her chest and then throw her deep emotions to the stars on the back of her hand like Celine. I always like the fist clench while pulling the elbow towards the solar plexus move. If you are lip synching you can do a double eh...'cause you don't have to hold the mic. If you're Garth Brooks you just wear the Cowboy airtraffic controller outfit (the shirts help the planes see the runway too) and you have both hands free to do the double fist pull. Its really effective when combined with the word "thunder". I love emotions. They are so emotional.
I love watching the Olympics too. I wish I could luge. Getting over the hump would be the tough part. Surviving one or two near fatal crashes just in time to get your technique down would be the trick. This "skeleton" thing looks good too. Head first luge is next. Maybe some idiot will strap on a pair of hockey skates and shoot through the bobsled run one day. Maybe when "Craig Northey & his Booty Boys" hit Calgary on February 21st that just might happen. Maybe after a few pints at the Back Alley some Port Moody bad boy will put luge in the Curling Bonspiel category with his clandestine feat captured on digital video by his equally lubricated cohorts. Maybe just maybe he will relegate this Olympiad to compete only with the cruiseship shuffleboard tourney happening on channel 72. Just watch the news. He will wear the cowboy airtraffic controller outfit -- Wranglers hiked up to make a nice camel toe...crease pressed in front. He will be singin' Stompin' Tom's "the Hockey Song" and downing the local Big Rock Ale. He will be emoting.
Oh yeah. Just confirmed: the Sidetrack in Edmonton AB, February 20th & the Back Alley in Calgary on February 21st. There may be dates around this but they are TBA.
And the thunder rolls.