Weekend of weird weather. Whether
March 10, 2002
Weekend of weird weather. Whether weakened by weirdness or just plain weak the weird weathered the weekend and still managed to jump over the lazy dog before the quick brown fox. Today I was buying flowers for someone and forgot my wallet. I had some cash in my pocket and carefully tallied the prices of the flowers I was buying and they added up to a few dollars less than I had. Great. Done. When the lady was ringing them in I noticed I'd read the price wrong on one of the bunches and it happened. I came up short. She looked at me and smiled and said, "you can owe me the $1.73". You never forget the amount when this happens. I promised her I'd come back today with the money and apologised profusely. She smiled again and gave me that, "whatever you say" look. I couldn't just say I'd come back and get them later because they were to thank someone I would only get to see in the next few minutes. Early this evening I went back to give her the money and I loved her so much I bought more flowers. When she rang them in I reminded her to take an extra $1.73. She said I had a good memory. She must have a lot of pot smokers as customers because that really wasn't too hard.
The door to the shop swung open and a naked man burst in gasping for air. He was soaking wet (pouring rain outside), a shaved head, a huge tattoo of the Van halen logo on his chest and a red backpack. I didn't notice a weapon so my heart slowed from 280bpm to about 140bpm pretty quickly. For those of you who's imaginations go to that place immediately...he was uncircumcised. He asked if anyone could lend him $1.73 for monkey food and pointed to the backpack. It was at that point I noticed the squirrel monkey's head peaking out. "The pet shop is next door" said the lady behind the counter. He said, "I know it is but I misread the price on the food and I'm short $1.73 and I can't leave without Little David-Lee getting his chow...I took the bus here and my transfer is about to run out". Sensing that a naked man with a hungry squirrel monkey and a Van Halen tattoo wasn't going to get too far with the flower lady I scrambled through my pockets and came up with a toonie (for those outside of Canada that is a $2 coin). He said "thanks brother" at the same time as I said "keep the change". He bolted out the door. Pay it forward I always say.
If in twenty years someone asks me how much I was short when I bought the flowers for my son's soccer team manager back on March the 9th 2002 it will not be a problem to remember the amount. $1.73. Of course the story is complete bullshit after the part where the lady said I had a good memory but I could sense the real life part was going nowhere.