Tailgating. A violation of human

June 13, 2002

Tailgating. A violation of human rights. Offensive behavior at its most lethal. There is one province in Canada where tailgating is perpetrated much more frequently than others. In this place it is pure passive aggressive behavior. “I will kill us both if you don’t figure out that I want to get by you and figure out a way to get out of my way”. They do not flash their headlights to indicate that they want to pass. I’m OK with that. The most exasperating incidents are perpetrated when there are very few options for the tailgated. In this province the tailgaters are tailgated by other tailgaters. They will do it to you even if you are boxed in on all sides by semitrailers. There is nowhere for you to go and the tailgater is talking on a cell phone, three feet off your bumper, in the pouring rain. They have to paint huge chevrons on the road and write “keep two chevrons apart” on giant signs. I’ve driven the great multi car pileup highways of this province with some native drivers and they seem relaxed and talkative while committing these offenses. I’m no turtle when I get out on the road but I’ve found that speed is not the issue. Whatever speed you are going there is someone who feels they must go faster than you. You finally find a way to let them by without catapulting you and your loved ones into that horrible gentle spiral ...avoiding your churning wheels plowing the soft shoulder under. If you keep a steady pace (cruise control is handy for this) minutes later they have slowed down again and have drawn back even. Soon they will be behind you again. The accelerator is but a pleasant resistance for their right foot as they tap it to the music in their heads? You notice these things.
Oh shit...my rant has been interrupted by the Stanley Cup final. I can’t rant while Vlad Konstantinov is hoisting the Stanley Cup. Cool.
Saw many moose, a beaver and a bear today. The Gordie Howe hat trick of Canadian days. If you’re driving along drinking a Tim’s coffee then its a natural hat trick.
Found out why they call it Thunder Bay...again. Drenched, muddied and unbowed. Dried the apparatus out in a Sault Ste Marie parking lot.