What did your parents fear?
July 05, 2002
What did your parents fear? I thought my dad feared nothing. This might have been really important to my sense of security. The omnipresence of fear was not something I needed to know about. Everyone is afraid. Its coming if it isn’t there now. There are simple fears that masquerade as complex fears. I fear death. Life good. Death bad. The simplest of fears. It is the root of many decisions and can divert my course at any time. The people who say they don’t fear it can perhaps be categorized in a few ways: a) those with religious grounding b) those who feel they have no reason to live c) people who are pretending. The Kneivels all fear death. If they didn’t then they wouldn’t take any precautions. Young Robbie would put on a bathing suit, peel out of the parking lot on a stock issue street-trail, big bore Honda and launch himself over a swimming pool of sulfuric acid using only a cinder block and a five foot 2 by 6 for a ramp. This would be a hell of a lot more impressive than all the high tech, canyon jumping clap trap. Truth is...its probably more dangerous. He’s brave but sensible. --like any good stuntman. The vintage wooden roller coaster is scarier than the new triple, upside down, corkscrew that winds its way through the mega mall. Its more likely that the rotten old structure can actually throw you out. Adolescence is the best time to experience fearlessness. Immortality courses through your wiry frame. Powered by fresh pink lungs and a ticker like a tether ball of solid muscle you forge a reputation for gonzo and reckless action. This reputation can carry on for quite some time but eventually self preservation becomes an issue.
If your kids figure out that you are afraid the fear cycle gets a stick in the spokes. When lightning strikes within twenty feet of you, the thunder clap almost throws your car off the road, you are unable to clear the windshield under the wall of rain and you have just seen the blurry impressions of two semi trailers headed right at you...you must laugh loudly. If you don’t the preteen and kinder crowd in the back will melt into a microcosmic Bruegel painting. Screaming, bloodshed,tragedy and pathos. Save the “everyone is afraid” lesson for a time when you have to build self-esteem. Awhile back I somehow stumbled upon the idea that we should “teach cowardice”. It was in reference to a different paradigm but, as I have learned, all things are related. Cowardice is important to survival but simple denial and good acting are the yin to cowardice’s yang. You need both in balance. Children should develop the part of themselves that is immortal before having it torn apart by the overwhelming idea that their days are numbered. My parents feared nothing. I was safe to enjoy myself for a spell. I should call my dad.