Its almost 1:00am so I

September 25, 2002

Its almost 1:00am so I had to write something. Fatigue sent me here. The inner 8 year old boy says rage against the dying of the light. This day could be longer if you could just deny that you'll be a bag of shit all day tomorrow. If nothing comes of this writing I won't have anything to defend myself against my apparent lack of discipline. Nothing was achieved so therefore I wasted one chipper morning. This is a chance I will have to take. Turning cowardice to bravery. Plowshares to swords. Wine into words.
Wait. I can tell the moment has escaped me. The moment I was looking for is elusive. I feel now it might have been about 30 minutes ago. It disguised itself as time to eat a cracker and stare at a Good Housekeeping magazine without really reading. Then it left. That was the moment containing the solar flare. The hard part is admitting it has escaped. Training myself to recognize when it is coming has been a lifelong process. This is just pretending that it is coming back. This is just saying that 12:45pm is not quite 1:00 am which seems much much later. I wonder what the radio will play when the alarm goes off.