Sometimes you’re down in the

November 26, 2002

Sometimes you’re down in the trenches for a long time. Pinned to your post and losing what made the position interesting in the first place. Challenges are problems. There is no real way out. There are only the exotic and unbelievable ways out. You conjure them in your constant daydreams. It takes an out of body experience to put it all back into perspective. We all have our ways of getting there but frequently these experiences pick their own spots. It always happens when you are alone. You do something different then . . .endorphin intervention. Nothing has changed except the way you see the situation. You break loose and then slide back into your right place in the order of things. You feel everything at once. You feel your friends asleep in their homes. You feel that its a half moon. You feel the temperature and the speed and the people awake on the other side of the world where the sun has gone. You fly out of yourself in all directions to everywhere you want to go. You are part of the whole and at the same time every little detail presents itself in a way that doesn’t overwhelm you. Your breathing is slow and cool and measured. There is no need to fight to change anything. Terrible things will happen and maybe they will involve you and yours but in this instant there is incalculable beauty. When you feel it happening it is over but the last thing you say to yourself is, “remember what this feels like”. You write it down in your heart to protect you against the fear that it will never happen again. There are no photographs or promises but there is the hope that this will happen when you need it most.