Self help litany. It was

February 04, 2003

Self help litany. It was supposed to be a short flight but its getting longer all the time. The conversation in the row in front of me is relentless. One of these women has internalized the sentence structure and presentation of the “self help” juggernaut. She is working hard on the other one. She is dancing and squeezing with all the might of the jargon she has memorized. As the Oprahs and Dr.Phils and the Atkins diet sweep through and heal the continent they also leave strange language in their wake. What if everyone who watched the news ended up talking like an anchorman? There has not been a break in the analysis. I will capture snippets of what I hear. This is not as scarey as the whole package but its as fast as I can type.

“Practicing non self care”, “I’m interested in people”, “there is no reason you can’t have that in your life”, “we don’t experience ourselves the way that other people do so we buy into our own stories”, “I knew this was happening with Scott and we dismantled a lot of that and cleared the relatrionship”, “its the ‘have to’s’ and ‘becauses’ in your answers that clue you into the promises”, I get out of my own way and out of their way”, “that was the piece that was wrong with me”, “rather than just being a whole person”, “I’m experiencing freedom in my life”, “talking to George last night was really about talking to George”, “to get out of everybody’s way and net even have my ego be present at that table”, “I knew what I was doing”, “I love how we project” , “here’s my comittment”, “its absolutely what it is at that moment and there has to be perfect integrity”, “I don’t know but I like that statement”, “fully self expressed in the world”, “everyone goes through life resisting their own power”, “I see the leaders of this organization actually practicing what they preach”, “communication is all we do”, “all day long we are commited to true and full communication”, “this is the really cool thing about opinions”, “Landmark is commited to peace in the world but commited to structures that can be put into place and if they don’t work they can be removed”.

Whoooaa there!!

Now I have a name. I am going to get on the net as soon as I get home and bust this thing. There is a lot of nodding and mmhhmm’s and uhhuhs and earnest eye contact ...always a dominant one in the pair. There has not been a pause. An answer for everything comes from the dominant one’s life experiences. I am learning that she is part of some “learning team management leadership” -- this “Landmark” I guess. She is having trouble remembering Nelson Mandela’s name in order to support her quote. She has only memorized the buzzwords and sentence structure but not the real information. She surrenders to the description of him as “that South African activist”. Screenplays and murder mysteries are in her plans and she talks extremely loudly about them with the middle of each sentence featuring the elongation of the “emphasis word” and then a quick salvo before further punctuation. I’m going to have to switch seats because I can’t think about anything except making her stop. When I get back to Vancouver I will get on Google and, no doubt, will be led to some corporate religious system bafflegab.
It facinates me to think about the moments when she is alone. Can she enjoy a moment without reflection? If she ski’s can she feel the snow beneath her and the sun on her face and let the activity work her to a zen moment? How many times has she payed a big fee, slapped on a “hello my name is” and enjoyed complimantary coffee from big silver urns. Has the decaf been clearly marked? Was salmon served and were the tables numbered? Salmon means we’re spoiling you and despite its hotel issue uniform shape is always described as “fresh”. Chicken doesn’t sell the seminar well enough. Guaranteed this has all cost her a lot more time and money than one trip to a remote corner of Tibet and a blessed silence leading to actual understanding.
There has been a strong smell of human gas coming from her seat the whole time. It is truly nauseating. Sometimes the real answers to interpersonal disfunction can be wildly illusive. Simple truths can be divided into little portions and sold for money. You will never put the puzzle together. All discussions are filled with crazy leaps of logic and maddening cul de sacs of narcissism. The price is high.

I have just left the plane and my jaw has finally relaxed emitting a loud crack. I didn’t realize how hard I was grinding my teeth.

••••••

OK. I’m home and have stumbled across the “Landmark Forum” with its roots firmly planted in EST and Werner Erhard. Oh my. If any of you have tried to live or work with those afflicted by their association with these clap trap, snake-oil, quasi religious programs then you’ll enjoy this page I found.

http://www.rickross.com/groups/landmark.html

Please try the mp3 on the page marked:
“Werner Goes Reggae: an Erhard experience”.

All these charlatans include some greasy doctrine regarding the exploration of sexuality. Shivers. I’ve also noted that the Landmark Forum offers “courses” to children as young as 8 years old.

For those of you who want to find the crux of my net research encapsulated in a favourite comment and do not wish to surf around this page for fear of your net cookies attracting the goggle eyed zombies to your door:

“Though the case is the first of its kind against Landmark, it is one of several brought in recent years against similar self-improvement groups, including the Forum's predecessor, est. The Forum and est were designed by Werner Erhard, who said that the Erhard Seminar Training he unveiled in 1971 could significantly increase human potential.

Erhard has not been seen publicly for several months, having disappeared after one of his daughters accused him in a televised interview on "60 Minutes" of molesting her. Shortly before Erhard disappeared, the IRS seized $ 7 million of his property, al leging that he had claimed phony income tax deductions.

Through a spokesman, Erhard has denied both allegations.

The Forum, one of several properties Erhard sold in the last few years, was bought by Landmark, according to a spokeswoman.”

I assume Erhard is busy playing a white baby grand piano on the deck of his yaught drifting into the harbour in Rio. I suspect him to be wearing a loin cloth and sporting a cigarette holder.