All Hallows Eve approaches. All

October 30, 2003

All Hallows Eve approaches. All good christians stay inside. It must seem so frustrating that the harvest festival that they once tried to subvert has become such a lighthearted celebration of evil, darkness, debauchery and bacchanalia. What fun. I’ve played dress up so much in my life that I have no urge whatsoever to do it on Halloween night. I’ve done drag quite enough thank you. I leave it to the repressed jocks who cry “fag” at you all year long to get their closets clean on Halloween. It really is a license for minor fantasies. What people wear to the office Halloween party is probably what they want to wear everyday of the year. French maids, Mr. Spock, Bobby Orr, Cat Woman, Drag Queen, Pimp, Elvis, Nun. They’re all there. Why can’t we just let this happen. The Rockettes as a kick ass rugby team. Captain James Kirk runs the physical plant and planning department. Batman sits in the lifeguard’s chair at the local pool. A picture tells a thousand words but a costume seals the deal. The business suit gives way to the thong, fig leaf and crown of thorns. Buddy drags his giant styrofoam crucifix past the photocopy room for another day of filing. Everyone is half cut and flirtatious. Children eat only candy, stay up late and everyone plays with fire until it evens out. Junior eventually eats the apple and a bowl of oatmeal because his body craves it. Cats & dogs eventually get used to the erratic firecracker symphony and come out from under the beds. If this is evil then lets have a little more of it. “God gave rock n’ roll to you” says the bus driver dressed as Paul Stanley as he lowers the wheelchair ramp for the beautiful lady with the angel wings and purple sequined brassiere.